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Crochet N More
Newsletter

Volume XIV, Issue No. 22
November 30, 2011

Serving approximately 6,000 crafters...

(This newsletter distributed FREE via e-mail only on the 15th and 30th of each month)

 

Thank you for requesting the Crochet 'N' More Newsletter.
We hope to provide you with exciting information on the latest web developments pertaining to the Crochet 'N' More website as well as two of my original patterns in each issue.

If the Crochet N More website and/or
Crochet N More Newsletter
have been helpful to you and you
would like to make a donation

Click Here

THIS ISSUE IS SPONSORED BY:


See more styles at
http://www.cafepress.com/crochetnmore

co

cont

How to Start
a Tutoring Business

cont.

God Bless You!

FEATURES IN THIS ISSUE:

GENERAL NEWS
QUESTIONS FROM THE CNM MESSAGE BOARD
WORDS OF ENCOURAGEMENT
BIBLE TRIVIA
PAGES UPDATED
NEW LINKS
MEMBER PATTERNS
CROCHET STITCH or TECHNIQUE
CROCHET TIP
VIEWER FEEDBACK
CONTEST/GIVE-AWAY INFORMATION
CLASSIFIED SECTION
HUMOR


GENERAL NEWS


 

Dear Subscriber:

Thanks so much for patiently waiting for the last issue.
My finger is almost completely healed now... still a little sore sometimes but at least I can type with it again.

 

I’m in the process of recording instructional videos about how to crochet.
Here are the first two crochet videos:

http://youtu.be/CsZnSvd8XU8

http://youtu.be/XrUHt6NzIz8

I plan on uploading more videos soon that demonstrate crochet stitches and techniques.

 


Here are a some Christmas crochet patterns you may enjoy:

CANDY CANE REINDEER

DOOR KNOB HANGER

CHRISTMAS WREATH ORNAMENT

CHRISTMAS STOCKING

AUBREY'S STOCKING

BIG CHRISTMAS STOCKING

 

 

 

 

 

Visit our Blog:
http://www.crochetnmore.com/crochetblog/

Visit our Facebook Fan Page:
http://www.facebook.com/pages/Crochetnmore/277255108133

Sign our Guestbook: 
http://www.amazon.com/Lisa-Hamblin/e/B00BQJYJVK/?_encoding=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&linkCode=ur2&tag=crochetnmore


Follow Crochetnmore on Twitter

Lisa and Tim

The Breast Cancer Site

QUESTIONS FROM
THE CNM MESSAGE BOARD


Post your crochet question on
The Crochet 'N' More Message Board

and you might see it here!

QUESTION:

RE: Newbe question on borders -- Thaumaoturgos

Hello, I'm new to crochet. Still trying to figure some of the terminology. Could someone explain or point me in a direction that explains this? This is for the border of an afghan, I'm assuming it's the base of the fringe. I have made the gauge square and the size is right. I wanted to add the border and fringe to the gauge square so I know what I am doing before it start the full project. I know that the sc count will be different since it is just a portion, but other than that, this makes no sense to me. If I ch 1 and do not turn, am I supposed to be going up the side of the square? I'm guessing that evenly spaced means that I will not be hooking every loop on the side. Next portion I have no clue. help please.

"Ch 1, do not turn; working in end of rows, work 155sc evenly spaced across; working in free loops of beginning ch 3 sc in first ch, work 99 sc evenly spaced across to last ch, 3 sc in last ch; working in end of rows, work 155 sc evenly spaced acrossed: 415 sc.

Jason

 

ANSWER:

>If I ch 1 and do not turn, am I supposed to be going up the
>side of the square? I'm guessing that evenly spaced
>means that I will not be hooking every loop on the
>side. Next portion I have no clue. help please.

Yes, if you are instructed to chain 1 and do not turn... you will begin
by working into the row ends... around the stitch at the end of each row.

So for this instruction:

"Ch 1, do not turn; working in end of rows, work
155sc evenly spaced across; working in free loops of
beginning ch 3 sc in first ch, work 99 sc evenly
spaced across to last ch, 3 sc in last ch; working in
end of rows, work 155 sc evenly spaced acrossed: 415
sc.

DO THIS:

Chain 1, do not turn
work around each stitch at the end of the row up that side, evenly
spacing 155 single crochet stitches.

So, if you have 155 rows you would place one stitch in each row end.

If you have a more than 155 rows you need to adjust by skipping a row
end randomly up that side in order to end up with 155 single crochet stitches.

If you have less than 155 rows you need to adjust by working two stitches
into one row end randomly up that side in order to end up with 155 single
crochet stitches.

Now working in the free loops (the unworked loops from your foundation chain)

-- work 3 single crochet stitches into the very first unworked loop.
-- Now work 99 single crochet stitches evenly across the remaining unworked
loops (not counting the very last one)
Do this the same way you adjusted for the number of stitches along the side.
-- work 3 single crochet stitches into the last unworked loop.

Now working into the row ends again... work the same as the opposite side.

You should have 415 single crochet stitches on those three sides when finished.
155 for the first side
3 for first corner
99 along foundation chain
3 for second corner
155 for the second side
----
415 total stitches

Hope this helps.

Lisa Hamblin
CNM/MBA

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


WORDS OF ENCOURAGEMENT


"God builds for every sinner, if he will but come back,
a highway of golden promises from the
depths of degradation and sin clear up to the Father's house."
~~ HENRY WARD BEECHER, Life Thought ~~

 

And this is the message we have heard from Him and announce to you, that God is light, and in Him there is no darkness at all. If we say that we have fellowship with Him and yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth; but if we walk in the light as He Himself is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus His Son cleanses us from all sin. If we say that we have no sin, we are deceiving ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. If we say that we have not sinned, we make Him a liar, and His word is not in us.

1 John 1:5-10

 

My little children, I am writing these things to you that you may not sin. And if anyone sins, we have an Advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous; and He Himself is the propitiation for our sins; and not for ours only, but also for those of the whole world. And by this we know that we have come to know Him, if we keep His commandments. The one who says, I have come to know Him." And does not keep His commandments, is a liar, and the truth is not in him; but whoever keeps His word, in him the love of God has truly been perfected. By this we know that we are in Him: the one who says he abides in Him ought himself to walk in the same manner as He walked.

1 John 2:1-6

And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.

Ephesians 4:30-32

For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Romans 6:23

 

 

 

"CHRIST'S CLEANSING POWER CAN
REMOVE THE MOST SUTBBORN STAIN OF SIN ."

This quote is from Our Daily Bread - November, 2011 Issue


Be careful the environment you choose, for it will
shape you; be careful the friends you choose, for
you will become like them.  - W. Clement Stone


"For where two or three have gathered
together in My name, there I am in their midst."
Matthew 18:20


Please click here and pray for those on our Prayer List


BIBLE TRIVIA


When Pharoah asked Aaron to
perform a miracle, what happened?

 

Click Here for the Answer

Click Here to Purchase
"The Complete Book of Bible Trivia"

Click here for more Bible Trivia


PAGES UPDATED

Only major page changes will be listed here.


FREE PATTERNS
The following patterns will be added to our Free Patterns soon.

Juleeann's Ruffled Hat Free Crochet Pattern
JULEEANN'S
RUFFLED HAT

 

Juleeann's Cape Free Crochet Pattern
JULEEANN'S
CAPE

 

 

 


NEW LINKS

The following link(s) have been added to our links pages.


LOVE IN ACTION

 

 

 


MEMBER PATTERNS


(SUBSCRIBERS SEE THESE FIRST)
However, these patterns will be added to the Crochet 'N' More website after the next issue is sent out.

Check out all of our free crochet patterns.

Purchase your crochet supplies today!

Use the promotion code below
in your online shopping basket:

Clearance Sale



CROCHET STITCH or TECHNIQUE

(A different crochet stitch and/or tip featured in each issue...
to be added later to the Crochet Basics page)


WORKING IN ROW ENDS

Sometimes a pattern has you work rows of stitches and then to form a border or edging
you are instructed to "work in the row ends". The row ends are the first & last stitches you did on each row. If the rows are single crochet stitches then the "end of the row" refers to
making the required stitches around the first & last single crochet stitches on each row.
If the first & last stitches on the row are double crochet stitches you work around the post of the double crochet stitches. No matter what kind of stitch you are using you work around the actual stitch on the end of the row... not into the top of it.

The first photo in the following picture shows a swatch turned on its side
with the ends of the rows on the top. I used a white cotton thread to work into the
row ends so you could see where the stitches go. The second photo shows the entire
piece with a border added. I worked one single crochet into each row end, one single
into each unworked loop of the foundation chain, one single in each row end up the opposite
side, and one single in each stitch on the last row I had made. For each corner I worked
3 singles so the motif wouldn't curl up.

Row Ends

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"On-line encyclopedia of knitting and crochet facts"
http://www.lionbrand.com/faq/learnToCrochet.pdf


CROCHET TIP


There are many products on the market which are made specifically for stiffening lace, doilies, ribbon, thread and other soft items. When using a stiffener, be sure to saturate your crocheted piece thoroughly, and to remove as much of the excess stiffener as you can before drying.

This page discusses various stiffening methods:
http://www.crochetspot.com/how-to-stiffen-or-starch-crochet-articles/

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Scrap Yarn Ideas ... do you have number 90?

 

The following page is compilation of uses for scrap yarns:
SCRAP YARN IDEAS

If you have a use that's not listed email me!


VIEWER FEEDBACK

NOTE: Any comments left on the CNM website or sent via email may be posted here.

Leave your message in our guestbook... and it may appear in an issue of the CNM Newsletter!


Via the Crochetnmore Facebook page:

Does anyone have a pattern for a crochet pattern for a purse with the bambo handles?
Cathy Shelato

<< reply >>

You can find one here:
http://www.favecrafts.com/Crochet-Bags/
Ruffle-Purse-Crochet-Pattern-from-Red-Heart#

 


Via the Crochetnmore Facebook page:

 

I just started your Christmas tree 2. I have the base done-the part that goes over the cone...but I don't understand the directions to make the "branches". HELP
Diann Hardesty

<< reply >>

Go back to the bottom of the base and join your yarn in the unworked loop of the first single crochet you made on R1. Now work 2 chains, skip the next unworked loop, slip stitch in the next unworked loop. Keep working (Ch2, sk next unworked lp, sl st in next unworked lp) until cone is covered. Now you work back from the top to the bottom with the next instruction.

 


Via the Crochetnmore Facebook page:


I have been recieving your newsletter for years and am very happy to see you on here!
Marie Horkey



RE: I love your pattern

My spoiled baby has sooooooo many sweaters. I made a flag sweater, a jack o lantern sweater and about a dozen Christmas sweaters. This pattern is so easy to adjust for a custom fit. My girl is a maltipoo so she has the same problem with the knotting fur. My daughter has a minpIn who needs her chest covered. No problem, when the sweater is finished I just add a section where the hole is, fits perfect. Thank you so much for sharing.
Doug Siepert

<< reply >>

I'm so glad you are enjoying the pattern.
If you have photos you would like to share I'll
be happy to add them to The Dog House:
http://www.crochetnmore.com/thedoghouse.htm

Lisa

 


Subject: Hanging Finger Tip Towel

Hi
Yes I know Jesus, praise the Lord.
I looked on the web site for a dish towel to hang on the stove for
drying dishes. I want to crochet the top part of the dish towel and
hang it on my stove. I did one last night and the towel is to long,
almost touches the floor. That's not right ! What is your way of
crocheting at the top? Do you have a pattern for that?
Thanks and God bless you
Rose in Michigan

<< reply >>

I have a couple of patterns for towel toppers that are attached to
the dishtowel here:
http://www.crochetnmore.com/dishtoweltopper.htm
http://www.crochetnmore.com/crossstitchtoweltopper.htm

You might enjoy my No Sew Towel Topper pattern:
http://www.crochetnmore.com/nosewtoweltopper.htm
It's made separately and then a towel is inserted through a loop.
When the towel gets dirty simply change the towel.


RE: reverse shaping

It is really wonderful to see everything is so practicably sorted for our crocheters!!! We cannot ask for more!!! You are the first on the web with this!!!
I would like to have a really good explanation so that i really can UNDERSTAND how to do it when you read a pattern and the patterns right side is full of instruction lice sc, 5 ext next row bla bla bla what so ever and then you came to your left side of the pattern and they say: reverse shaping
or sometimes do exactly the same but reverse shaping.
This is really a big issue to me.

Tnx
Tiekie

<< reply >>

Thank you Tiekie... I’m glad you enjoyed your visit.

Crochet pattern language can be tricky at times.
If you have a particular pattern you’re having difficulty with you
can email me.

As for reverse shaping... pattern designers use that term to keep the
actual length of the pattern as short as possible. Reverse shaping means
you do the same instructions for one side of the project in reverse for the other side.

For example:
If you’re making a sweater and you’re instructed to work the left
front panel... then the right front panel says to work in reverse shaping. You work the
left front as the pattern states and anywhere in the pattern where stitches are
increased or decreased (hence, shaping) you work those on the opposite ends
of the right front panel.

So let’s say, you have a left front panel of a sweater that says for you to work even until the piece measures 12 inches and then the pattern instructs you to work the next 10 rows decreasing one stitch on each row on the “right” side edge of the work.

When you make the right front panel you would work evenly until the piece measured 12 inches and then you would decrease one stitch on each row on the “left” side of the work for the next 10 rows.

This is the “reverse shaping”... by making the decrease stitches on opposite sides of each panel your sweater shape is achieved.

 


Subject: I LOVE your testimony and that you publicize it!

Hi…..God BLESS you!

I LOVE your testimony and that you are sharing it wit the world! I do a lot of ministry, and have a nonprofit 501c3 org called Love IN Action (222.loveinactioninc.org) and I am going to put my testimony on that site.Also am inspired by you to start another site for a biz I have been contemplating, and will put my testimony and prayer line on that also!
Thanks for being such a true Christian! God BLESS you!

Your sister in Christ,
Connie Donley

<< reply >>

You’re very welcome Connie.

First of all, I’m so glad you enjoyed my testimony.
I really need to update that page again... God is good!
I’m glad you are including your testimony on your sites also.

I have added a link to your charity on this page:
http://www.crochetnmore.com/123charitylinks.htm
and I will also be including a link in today’s issue of the
Crochet “N” More Newsletter which will be distributed to
more than 6,000 eager crafters.

I pray this helps your charity in many ways.

 


Subject: ReadAPattern

I am attempting to crochet the Chenille Stole from the free patterns list because I had some chenille yarn left over from another project... I thought I was at least an advanced beginner... but maybe not....

I can get through row 2 with no problem and the counts are perfect. My problems start with Rows 3-54... The pattern says "Dc in the next sp, ch 1" and repeat to the end. I know how to Dc and chain, but... What is considered the "Next Space?" Is there a picture I can see somewhere on-line?

I would be so grateful for any assistance!
Thanks!
Lynda

<< reply >>

Patterns sometimes refer to a “space” or a “chain space” which can refer to any number of chains.
Ch-1 sp is the same as chain one space.
Ch2-sp is the same as chain two space.

>>>The pattern says "Dc in the next sp, ch 1" and repeat to the end.
>>>I know how to Dc and chain, but... What is considered the "Next Space?"


This means you work one double crochet in the next space
(into the hole left beneath the chain/chains on the working row), then chain 1.
Keep doing that across the row.

>>>Is there a picture I can see somewhere on-line?
The photo on this page:
http://www.crochetspot.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/chain-space.jpg
shows a chain space.


Subject: ReadAPattern

Pattern says: “Row 3: Ch 6 (counts as first dc plus ch 3), turn; dc in same st, ...”

Can you tell me what the heck she means by the part in red? I’m baffled by “in same st”.
I can’t figure out what the “same stitch” is.

Thanks

Pam Brimhall

<< reply >>

For your Row 3 you chain 6.
3 of the 6 chains count as one double crochet stitch and the other
three count as a chain 3 space.
turn the work
now work one double crochet into same stitch the 6 chains come up from...
a/k/a “dc in same st”.


RE: ReadAPattern

My pattern says 10:2 dc in same stitch as join skip 2 3 dc in next stitch repeat I just want to know what does the 10 represent

dggirl362436

<< reply >>

If this is from the pattern on this page:
http://www.crochetme.com/media/p/94540.aspx

The 10: is the row number.


Pattern link posted on the Crochetnmore Facebook page:

http://www.allfreecrochet.com/Thanksgiving-Crochet/Gobble-Coaster/ml/1

I tried this pattern . It came out very cute . Thank you .
Kathy Huff


Link posted on the Crochetnmore Facebook page:

RE: My first crochet video?
http://youtu.be/CsZnSvd8XU8

comments:

Super! Shared with my Addicted to Knitting & Crochet group. Thanks!
Luciana Young
--

Thanks Luciana... I really appreciate you sharing it with your friends. I will be adding more videos soon demonstrating various crochet stitches and techniques.
Crochetnmore

--

Sharing it with my niece now, she just asked me to teach her :)
Luciana Young

--

Thanks Luciana!
Crochetnmore


Link posted on the Crochetnmore Facebook page:

RE: How to make a Slip Knot:
http://youtu.be/XrUHt6NzIz8

comments:

Thank you! I just tried this and LOVE it!! It took me a couple of times to get comfortable with it, but dang, I like it alrighty!! TY
JoAnn Hamilton Dillon

--

You're very welcome JoAnn... I will be uploading more videos soon. If you have any questions feel free to ask.
Crochetnmore

--

Thank you dear, I will. I love the things you post!!
JoAnn Hamilton Dillon

 


Kind words can be short and easy to speak,
but their echoes are truly endless.
                                   Mother Teresa


CONTEST/GIVEAWAY INFORMATION

The information provided below is strictly for your enjoyment.


Enter the new contest at Creative Enterprises !Click Here for Your Chance to Win!


CLASSIFIED SECTION


Got something you'd like to sell ?
Looking for a particular item to buy?
Put your ad here to be seen by approximately 5,500 crafters...
Click here to place an advertisement in our Classified Section.


~ ~ ~ YOUR AD COULD GO HERE! ~ ~ ~

 


Do you know a little girl that doesn't have a baby to hold and care for?
Please visit our site and click on request a doll on the left hand side of the site.

If you need a teddy bear for a little boy please add next to their information
on the request for that it’s for a little boy so we know to send a teddy..
http://www.mollysbabies.org

while your there visit are many pages, we have a volunteer application page
with all the information on there.

We also have Santa letter's, items for sale.. all proceeds goes to Molly's Babies inc.
Right now to keep Molly's Babies Inc running we need your support. so please visit
our site today and see if you can help out with something.. how you can help page
and a lot more. stop by and check us out.. look forward to your visit.

Mary B.

Molly's Babies Inc.
P.O. Box 308
Versailles, CT. 06383

http://www.mollysbabies.org

https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_s-xclick&hosted_button_id=WY3PT9P5P4JAL

Newsletter
http://oi.vresp.com?fid=439e0bb678

Blog:
http://mollys-babies.blogspot.com/


Unique photos at reasonable prices!

Haley Hamblin Photography
Haley Hamblin Photography

 


www.joann.com


Get Your Home In Order!

Click Here


Threads N Stitches

cont.


You can buy our 51 page book
through Cafe Press.

Click Here to order your copy today!
Crochet N More Pattern Collection 1
Crochet N More Pattern Collection 1

cont

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

cont.


Get your copy of the Gas Mileage Guide today!
http://www.gasmileageguide.com/

There's also a free Version available.
http://www.gasmileageguide.com/freepreview.htm
Also make sure to check out almost daily tips for saving money
and having fun without breaking the bank.
http://www.gasmileageguide.com/gas-savings-blog/

cont.


This book is a wonderful addition to any crochet library.
I've had numerous requests over the years of what to crochet for boys.
Crobots are definitely the answer!
This 96-page book is filled with numerous types of Crobot patterns as well as well-illustrated instructions for the
crochet stitches, assembly stitches and other embellishments used in the patterns.
The patterns are well written, some of the book is written in a small font but the pictures are wonderful. NOTE: This book comes to you with a safety warning regarding the small parts used in the patterns.
Therefore, please use your own discretion as to the age of the child you intend the gift for.


I have to tell you about this new book.
SweaterBabe.com's Fabulous & Flirty Crochet
I'm so happy to have it in my crochet library.Katherine Lee has an eye for style and a definite knack for creating beautiful crochet patterns.
I was really happy with the large colorful project photos.
There's something for everyone!
The aspect of Fabulous and Flirty Crochet that stood out to me was the section on the yarns
used in the patterns. One page shows "actual size" photos of the yarns which makes it super
easy to substitute other yarns if you want to. For those who stay strictly to the recommended
yarn in a pattern Katherine has included a yarn resource list. The projects are very fashionable
and perfect for gift giving... though I'm sure you'll have to make something for yourself :o)
I can't wait to try the Flirty Skirt and the Ruffled Strap Tank.

Get your copy of Fabulous & Flirty Crochet today!


=====================================================

Country Village Mall


If your home business isn't growing as fast as you'd like, maybe you need to move to a new neighborhood!
Come be a part of our home and small business community at Creative Enterprises!
We bring new meaning to "networking" and resource sharing!
Sign up for your membership today at
7http://www.creativethought.com

cont.



HUMOR



~ ~ ~ ~ ~
"Laughter is an instant vacation." - Milton Berle
~ ~ ~ ~ ~

A man having lunch at a Chinese restaurant noticed that the table had been set with forks, not chopsticks.

He asked why.

The waiter said "Chopsticks were provided only on request."

"But," the man countered, "if you gave your patrons chopsticks, you wouldn't have to pay someone to wash all the forks."

"True," the waiter shot back, "but we would have to hire three more people to clean up the mess."


The driving instructor was giving lessons to an extremely nervous
student who panicked whenever another car approached on a particular
two-lane road.

One day, however, they got to the same stretch of road, and the
student remained completely calm.

“This time you’re doing fine!” exclaimed the instructor.

“Yes,” the novice driver agreed. “Now when I see another car coming,
I shut my eyes.”


Grandma Jones from the valley had never experienced a sick day
in her life, so she didn't take it kindly when a bad case of
the mulligrubs sent her to the hospital for observation.

By the time a pair of husky interns got Grandma tucked into bed,
she had managed to complain about everything: the temperature,
the lights, the skimpy gown, the food and the mattress, especially,
the mattress.

Suddenly, Grandma spotted a small plastic item with a button,
attached to a cord. "What's that?" she demanded.

"If you need anything in the middle of the night, Grandma," said
one of the interns, "just press that button."

"What does it do, ring a bell?" she asked.

"No, it turns on a light in the hall for the nurse on duty," the
intern replied.

"A light in the hall?" responded Grandma. "Look, I'm the sick one
around here. If the night nurse needs a light on in the hall, she
can get up and switch it on herself."

 


One day I was walking down the beach with some
friends when one of them shouted, "Look at that
dead bird!"

Someone looked up at the sky and said, "Where?"


On my birthday I was cutting the lawn when my teenage son
came home from a baseball game. Seeing me behind the mower,
he exclaimed, "Oh, Dad, you shouldn't have to mow the lawn
on your birthday."

Touched, I was about to turn the mower over to him when he
added, "You should wait until tomorrow!"


The new family in the neighborhood overslept, and their
six-year-old daughter missed her school bus. The father,
though late for work, said he would drive her if she'd
direct him to the school.

They rode several blocks before she told him to turn the
first time. Several blocks later she told him to turn again.
After 20 minutes of turn after turn, they finally reached
the school. At that point, the father realized they were
only a few blocks from their home. Extremely annoyed, he
asked his daughter why she had led him around in such
circles.

"But, daddy," the child protested, "that's the way the school
bus goes, and it's the only way I know."


During a practical exercise at a military police base,
the instructor was giving the class instruction in
unarmed self- defense.

After he presented a number of different situations
in which they might find themselves, he asked a student,
"What steps would you take if someone were coming
at you with a large, sharp knife?"

The student replied, "BIG ones."


A Sunday school teacher asked her class to write a composition
on the story of Samson.

One teenage girl wrote, "Samson wasn't so unusual. The boys I
know brag about their strength and wear their hair long too."

 


An old man limped into the doctor's office and said, "Doctor, my knee
hurts so bad, I can hardly walk!"
-
The doctor slowly eyed him from head to toe, paused and then said, "Sir,
how old are you?"
-
"I'm 98," the man announced proudly.
-
The doctor just sighed, and looked at him again. Finally he said, "Sir,
I'm sorry. I mean, just look at you. You are almost one hundred years
old, and you're complaining that your knee hurts? Well, what did you
expect?"
-
The old man said, "Well, my other knee is 98 years old too, and it
doesn't hurt!"


The first morning after the honeymoon,

the husband got up early, went down to the

kitchen, and brought his wife her breakfast in bed. Naturally, she was delighted.

Then he spoke: "Have you noticed just what I have done?"

"Of course, dear. Every single detail!"

"Good. That's how I want my breakfast served every morning."


A teacher was finishing up a lesson on the joys of
discovery and the importance of curiosity. "Where
would we be today," she asked, "if no one had ever
been curious?"

One child quietly spoke up from the back of the room.
"Still in the Garden of Eden?"


Every year on my birthday, I looked forward to my aunt's
gift...a scarf,
hat, or sweater knitted by hand.

One year, she must have had better
things to do because
I received a ball of yarn, knitting needles, and
a
how-to-knit book. Her card read: "Scarf, some assembly
required."

 

 


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